Today’s Kids, Yesterday’s Parents

If you feel a huge disconnect with the kids in your life, you are not alone. Our world has changed much more drastically than it ever has in previous generations. Let’s explore why we feel like we can’t find some common ground and look at how we can begin to build a bridge between us and the kids growing up around us.

Some of the reasons for our generational disconnect:

• Due to quick access to information, changes seem to happen at an accelerated pace. In the past, we got our news through newspapers, radio, and nightly news programs. Today, we are bombarded by news 24/7 and these days we may not always believe what we hear.

• As a result of this quick turnaround on information, it is easy to feel lost and overwhelmed. Our teens and young adults are more in tune with social media and are better at tracking and responding to change than us older humans.

• Currently, our main form of communication is through text and social media. We don’t hear each other’s voices and engage socially as much as we used to. The pandemic came along and sadly made this more of a way of life.

• The structure of our current economy is very different than that of even 30 – 40 years ago. Our own parents worked for a company for years, were able to buy a home even while earning a middle-class wage and could afford to live on a single salary. This is practically impossible in today’s economy and our kids know it.

So how do these factors affect our ability to have healthy relationships with our current generation of kids? The changes in our society have been so drastic in the last few decades that it almost feels like we aren’t really living on the same planet, much less the same country. So how can we build a bridge with the young people in our lives? We may say things like “kids today are so and shrug our shoulders in defeat. We cannot do this, we are the grown-ups and they need us to step up and support them however we can. The problem is that so many of us don’t really know how. So here are a few pointers for reaching and supporting our youth:

• Listen – take the time to really listen. These kids understand more than we realize and will stop talking if they feel we are not respecting them and truly listening. Gone are the days of “children are meant to be seen and not heard.” Our kids know what true support and respect feel like, and they will shut down if they don’t feel like they are getting that from us.

• Learn – get some knowledge. Our young people are very tapped into what is going on around them and what is happening much more than we ever were. They can tap into their feeds and they track trends like no other generation has before them. It is not their responsibility to teach us, it is our responsibility to meet them where they are.

• Love – give them space to be who they are. Accept, cherish and support them as they become who they are meant to be. They are not here to fulfill our unmet childhood dreams; they are here to be the fullest expression of who they came here to be. Create a space of safety and support and stand back in awe as they show you who they really are.

• Laugh – there is healing in laughter and joy. Allow yourself to be awkward and vulnerable. Laugh in connection as you admit that you are not in the know about the current trend or get a phrase wrong, etc. When laughter comes from being silly and joyous, it naturally builds connection and comes from a heartfelt place of “I’m here and I want to connect with you, and I’m okay if we all know that I have no idea what I am doing.” As long as the kids are laughing with us and not at us, it is a healthy way to break down walls. As adults, it is sometimes amusing to let our guard down. We don’t have to know everything. Honestly, half of adulting is googling how to do stuff, and it’s okay if we don’t know how to do stuff.

For more information, check out our media page for more on tools for a healthy life.