New Year’s Resolutions: 3 Tips For Making Lasting, Positive Change

Happy New Year!!! We say this to everyone on January 1, and we feel a newness, like we have a blank slate to start fresh. Another 365 day cycle to make things different, and this time we mean it! But do we really? Statistics would not support this claim. A probably not too surprising statistic is that 91% of us don’t keep our New Year’s resolutions, so why does this happen and what can we do differently? 

One major obstacle is our consciousness - we have to change the way we think before we can change our behavior. This may sound woo-woo to you, but take a moment to think about it. Can you actually do something you are not consciously ready to do? Okay, you know that an apple is better than a donut, but when given the choice most people will eat the donut---unless they have a health-based mindset. We only give in to temptation if our consciousness isn’t solid around a goal. Making a commitment to a new behavior is great, but without the consciousness to fulfill that goal we become part of that 91%.

Another one is taking the mindset of a 2 year-old, putting our hands on our hips and defiantly saying, “I do it myself.” Well, how has that individualistic attitude worked for us so far? I would venture to say, not well. We need someone to support us and keep us accountable, gently accountable. No one needs that drill sergeant in our face ordering us to do 10 push-ups because we ate the donut, yeah, you know you ate the donut. When we don’t have an accountability structure in place to support change, we don’t change, period. We do so many things out of unconscious habit, (there goes that word consciousness again), and then put ourselves down over our lack of willpower, inability to follow through, etc. This is why so many of us give up on change.  We give up because we don’t always see what we need to do to become the person who would follow through with this new way of living. Someone to hold us accountable is important. They help us get to that different way of being and thinking; if we allow it. 

We struggle with this as adults. How do you think our younger humans handle it? They are constantly watching us, so let’s give them some good examples on sticking to change. 

1. Slow and steady does win the race: Don’t rush the change. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Set small goals and move toward them. When you have a bad day (or week) don’t stop. You can change the goal or alter it, changing course is fine, but stay with your growth - don’t stop. Set an example of perseverance.

2. Engage in positive self-talk: Anxiety and depression are fed by criticism, and much of that comes from ourselves. Let’s model some self-kindness for our kids.

3. Embrace failure:  It’s okay to get things wrong, that’s where we learn. If you are trying to add exercise to your life and something doesn’t work, that’s okay, yoga isn’t for everyone. Try something else: walking, Pilates, maybe kickboxing. Also, embrace learning how to do something. So you aren’t graceful at Zumba - so what? Everyone starts somewhere. Embrace the awkward.  It will help your kids do the same. 

So, Happy New Year to everyone from all of us at Cour. Follow your heart, and see where it takes you!